Fiction Friday
That does it!!! I'm taking over this blog! Ratty is going too far, and it's time for some squirrel to put a stop to it. So this website belongs to us squirrels now. Now I'd like to introduce myself. My name is Mr. Nutz, and I represent all the poor defenseless little squirrels.We didn't mind too much when that big ape man began walking through our forests, but then he started following a few of the more trusting squirrels. They were only trrrying to find a few tasty little trrreats, and then this big jerk started aiming some sort of weapon at them.
They would run and hide, but that wasn't enough for him! He would hunt them and stalk them thrrrough the forest! One of my friends ran up a tree(ahhhhh trees) and then tried to tell him to go away, but he still didn't listen. He's been terrorizing another little squirrel, that became too afraid to move one time.
Still, you awful humans do things like that all the time. But then he declared war on us!!! He actually said he was going to hunt us down! I read on the internet that (Yes, we have the internet.) somebody suggested that he should make hats out of us. Nobody does that and gets away with it!!!We decided to fight back a little bit. A few of us chewed through his cable lines and brrroke his internet access. That was rrreally funny! You humans stole the internet from us anyway. We had it first!
We thought that warning would be enough, but he kept after us! He's been chasing us for a week now, and I'm tired of it! He doesn't mess with me! I'm crrrazy! I'm gonna get him! I'm gonna mess him up! We're all gonna swoop down on him from the trees (ahhhh trees), and attack him all at once. He'll be covered in squirrels.
But for now, this blog belongs to me. So I guess I should write something about my favorite subject, trees (ahhhh trees). They make a good place to live. We like to climb them, and run around and around them. The leaves are so green. Some of them even have tasty tasty nuts growing from them.You humans should learn to appreciate trees (ahhhh trees) more. They make an excellent place to live. You can either live up in the brrranches, or burrow down into the base of a tree. Both ways work prrretty good. But what do you do? You chop them down! Duhhh!!!
You can't have our trees (ahhhh trees) anyway, so you'll just have to find something else. Maybe you should just stay in those big square caves of yours, and stay away from our trees (ahhhh trees). In fact, stay out of our forests!!! And quit aiming those one eyed weapons at us!
I have one final message for you Ratty. This blog is mine now. Try and take it away! We're gonna get you. We're gonna get you. We're gonna get you. We're gonna get you. We're gonna get you. We're gonna get you. We're gonna get you. We're gonna get you. We're gonna get you. We're gonna get you.
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Heeellpppp!!! The squirrels locked me inside the comments section. It's really strange in here. All I can see is a gray mist.
ReplyDeleteOh Mr.Nutz, welcome to the blogging world. You must lock the cheeky Ratty forever before he managed to do the same thing to you. But please do not let Ratty overheard I said that.
ReplyDeleteMr. Nuts, ops, Nutz, why, that's a big gun you have, hope you won't destroy any trees while trying to shoot Ratty. He might be following you because you guys are too cute...
ReplyDeleteHello Mr. Nutz, congrats on the take over! Just relax so you can concentrate on watching your port so Ratty cant outsmart you.
ReplyDeleteBrilliant post Mr Nutz, nice work taking over the blog.
ReplyDeleteHowever, I'd like to negotiate Ratty's release :-) Trees are cool, but I don't think I'd want to read about them every day!
Don't worry Ratty we'll save you! Can you move? Can you explore the mist? Sounds spooky there.
ReplyDeleteMr. Nutz, I like your helmet. Does it come in pink?
ReplyDeleteNow, about Ratty...Rumor has it that there is a BIG (I mean HUGE!) Florida dragon who is partial to Ratty (and doesn't like squirrels so much) who may be called upon to come and rescue Ratty...so better go back to the trees and get ready!!!!!!
But back to your helmet....can I get it monogrammed?
i like squirrels but you look a little vicious. You are also over reacting! That "weapon" will not harm you because it's really not a weapon at all, just a camera to take your picture so we can see how good you look and what fun you have in your trees.
ReplyDeleteMr. Nutz may have taken over the blog, but I still have the comments section. Could somebody tell me how to get out of here?
ReplyDeleteRainfield - Hey! I heard that! I thought you were on my side in this squirrel war. I guess that's what I deserve for starting this war.
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Kruel - He seems to love trees too much to shoot any. Their cuteness is how they tricked me and locked me in here.
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Ron - Mr. Nutz is going to be one sorry squirrel when I escape. He better watch carefully.
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John - Finally, someone is starting to see reason! Tell him you'll give him a pile of acorns. Then crack him over the head!
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Sandra - At last! Help is on the way! Thank you so much! I can move easily, but I don't know where I'm going. There's a strange light up ahead, but I don't think I should go there.
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The Retired One - I'll steal his helmet and paint it pink for you, if you help me get out of here. I wonder if Florida dragons like the taste of squirrels.
Karen - I tried to tell him that myself, but he chased me in here anyway. Squirrels sure do get grumpy when somebody chases them yelling, "I'll destroy you all!" They should have known I was only joking.
ReplyDeleteIf all of you humans would please form a line, there's a big hole in the side of a tree(ahhhh trees) I'd like to show you. Hurry up!!!
ReplyDeleteMr Nutz, I believe dragons love the taste of squirrels. You'd better heed The Retired One's warning.
ReplyDeleteRatty, can't you use your navigation skills to find your way out of the mist? Have you got a compass or GPS?
Mr Nutz, I just been browsing the blogger terms and conditions and there's a clause excluding Sciurus carolinensis from using the service.
Ratty, I hope you can read this safely. We are mounting a massive rescue mission. The Fairy Tale characters are being led by Jack with his Magic Stick. I know he's a little misty in the brain but that might help him find you in that mist. King Gary Gander is in charge of strategy. He has a contingent of geese and ducks to fly you out as soon as they find you. Alice contacted the King of Hearts. He secretly stopped the soldiers from painting the roses red. They are armed with brushes and red paint. If Mr Nutz resists, he will become a very red squirrel. Tearra is sponsoring a telethon to help your cause. Ellie Mae will be on guard to make sure no critters are harmed. The Skipper declined the request for assistance saying, "See how he likes being stranded with a bunch of Nutz!" But Peg is on her way. She'd like a new squirrel coat. As for Mother Goose, I'm making a new nursery rhyme about the whole thing! Be strong, Ratty. WE WON'T LET YOU BE TAKEN ALIVE!!!!
ReplyDeleteRatty- If I can find where in the world someone was sprouting acorns to make new baby oaks again, maybe we can distract Mr. Nutz to go visit over there. Oh dear, I'm trying to find where that was!
ReplyDeleteHey squirrels, that's not a weapon Ratty's been aiming at you, it's his camera. He's making you famous!
ReplyDeleteJohn | Impomatic - I have a compass, but it doesn't seem to be working right in here. It only points one way. I hope that dragon or Blogger scares Mr. Nutz away soon, it's getting cold in this mist.
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Mother Goose - Be careful sending a rescue party. Mr. Nutz says he has an evil army of dark jedi squirrels ready to fight.
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Sharkbytes - Hmmm, acorns sound like an interesting idea...
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Bomberman - That's right, it's only a camera. I'd never hit a squirrel over the head with it or anything.
hahaha..i really enjoy this post with everone trying to help you Ratty...what should i do to help? can i send over some Clouded Leopard from Borneo to fight this Mr. Nutz and released you Ratty? but i am afraid that you both will be captured by the Clouded Leopard that i send..opss....i am not helping...:D
ReplyDeleteI could not stop from laughing, it is Mr. Nutz fault, he sounds so fun but I hope he will come to his senses and surrender this blog back to the owner. In as much as I love squirrels and trees, but I am afraid if I will support Mr Nutz some squirrels will declare war over me as well as I also use weapon against them, though my weapon which I presume same as Ratty is not really capable of firing a bullet :)
ReplyDeleteRose - The clouded leopard would be a good idea if it can't get into the comments section with me. Maybe it would eat enough squirrels so it didn't want me. I guess it would need a lot of squirrels.
ReplyDeleteBetchai - I kept telling the squirrels that it wasn't a weapon, but they wouldn't listen. I chased them and screamed at them for almost an hour. I don't know why they locked me in here after that.
ReplyDeleteRatty- I found the baby oaks! Tell those squirrels they can go talk to Julia at http://julia-oursimplelife.blogspot.com/2009/03/wordful-wednesday-how-to-hatch-tree-iv.html and wait (shh- 20 years or so) and get fat and happy.
ReplyDeleteMr Nutz- Leanne at http://intricateart.com/puff-stretch-cowbird/ is also stalking squirrels- she needs to be captured instead of Ratty- she got much closer!
Hope we see you released tomorrow!
Sharkbytes - As soon as I escape the clutches of this obnoxious little squirrel, I'll take a look at both sites.
ReplyDeleteI've asked them both to come help you!
ReplyDeleteSharkbytes - Thanks. I need all the help I can get.
ReplyDeleteLook out, here come the dark Jedi squirrels!
ReplyDeleteJohn - The squirrel dark jedi are cool, but they wanted to wipe out the fairyland characters.
ReplyDeleteMr. Nutz,
ReplyDeleteToday I'll plant a soft maple in your honor. It's not easy taking over a blog! You should pick up some shirts to mark the people that you've captured. Yes, I think that's a GREAT idea!
http://www.cafepress.com/artistbynature
Leanne - If I can get Mr. Nutz to come back down from the tree, I'll relay the message. I looked at the shirts, and they are pretty cool.
ReplyDelete