Friday, April 17, 2009

The Return Of Mr. Nutz

Fiction Friday

Fox SquirrelWell, it seems there has been a very strange turn of events in the squirrel war that we all thought was long over with. Mr. Nutz is back! And he is alive and well, mostly. It seems a dragon nipped the tip of his tail. There he is in these pictures, looking as healthy as ever.

The last we all saw of the very angry squirrel, Mr. Nutz, was when it appeared that he was swallowed whole by a surprisingly evil Florida dragon. I admitted my horrible wrongdoing back then, when I stole the dragon so I could murder the squirrels out of misguided revenge.

I think my mind was being controlled by that dragon. It was all his fault. Yeah, that's the ticket! It was all the fault of the dragon. He made me do it. You gotta believe me! I even tried to apologize, but it fell on deaf ears. Please, feel sorry for me! Anyway, that's my story, and I'm sticking to it!

Fox SquirrelIt seems the angry Mr, nutz has had quite an adventure since we last saw him. He told me the whole story, between threats of hunting me down and destroying my acorns. It seems the dragon only nipped his tail a little bit, but he got away and led what was left of his squirrel army to the other side of the world in an attempt to hide.

He claimed that they traveled all the way to The Philippines, where they hid out in a zoo for awhile. Then when they thought it might be safe, they made their way over to Malaysia. One of the black squirrels in the group was almost run down by a speeding motorist.

While there, Mr. Nutz said they saw another guy with a camera wandering around. He told me it reminded him of me, so they followed him home and destroyed his modem. They thought they had a measure of satisfaction from that, but I told them the guy was just fine now, so they failed again. This made Mr. Nutz pretty angry as I laughed when I told this to him.

He claimed revenge is coming for both men. I told him he's just a squirrel without a nut, because if he was going to do anything to them, he wouldn't have come back here. I began laughing again as he got more and more angry with me. It was pretty funny watching this little squirrel's tail shivering with rage.

Fox SquirrelWhen the squirrels finally came back, they decided to hide out in a few houses along the way, chewing up whatever they found. They did it all because they were trying to get revenge on as many humans as they could. These little creeps were rampaging their way all the way back to Michigan. Has anyone else seen evidence of their worldwide rampage?

Finally, an army of dolls, uh, I mean action figures decided to defend us all from this rampaging army of squirrels. I received a report late last night that they had taken out Mr. Nutz, and thwarted the march of the monstrous squirrels. It turned out that it was only one of Mr. Nutz' body guard lookalikes. He evaded death again.

Now Mr. Nutz is back, and threatening revenge on anyone standing in his way! He has become slightly crazed(nuts) by his ordeal with the dragon, and he vows to get us all back. I think he just lost his acorns, and he's no threat at all. Is anybody really worried about a squirrel anyway?

He finished telling me the story, as I continued laughing at his threats. With one last snarl of anger, he lunged at me and missed, as I quickly dodged out of the way. He hit the ground running and scampered off into the forest vowing to steal my nuts. Stupid squirrel. I'm not worried. Well I'm not. Really.


  1. First I was suspicious, now I am confirmed. I should have caught the nutty squirrel before it go for another round of worldwide rampage. I should be then a hero, a Superman kind of hero.

  2. Howdy partners I just wanted to drop in and see how everyone was doing especially ratty i have read about ratty declaring war on Mr.Nutz and his evil minions that sadly took over the website and threatened everyone.

    your friend,

  3. oh i so love the first picture, it really looks like a raging squirrel, you caught the emotions there. and the lighting, superb. i looked at his tail being softly lit by the sun, and just amazing. i am glad he will seek revenge only to those who stand in his way, am sure i can give him nuts (in the head) next time as he is too cute :)

  4. HI rainfild and betchai glad to hear from you after that crazy attack with Mr. Nutz and this plus the first note were really me (Alice). Have fun! I have been having fun with Ratty and I hope you do to.

    Your Friend,

  5. Rainfield - How could we know that Mr. Nutz escaped the dragon? This angry little squirrel outsmarted us all. Super Rainfield would be pretty cool though.

    Alice - I think everyone is doing alright, even though we've had to deal with an angry vicious little squirrel.

    Betchai - As Mr. Nutz, and as the real squirrel that he is, he really was angry with me. His tail was actually quivering with rage. That's why it was so straight. I don't know what I did to the real squirrel, but Mr. Nutz had an excuse. You're right, he is a cute little guy, even if he is an angry one.

    Alice - Thanks for the messages, Alice. It's good to know that you're doing well. You need to come around more often so I can write some more good Alice stories.

  6. Well, roast me for an chestnut! I didn't know that Mr. Nutz tail had been nipped or I would have known that wasn't he that the snipers finished off. Would he be appeased with some beechnuts? Maybe I can find some of last years in the leaves. I have LOTS of pinecones I could send too!

  7. Sharkbytes - I'm not sure anything would appease Mr. Nutz at this point, but you're welcome to try. At this point, he is quite demented. In my opinion, he was more than a little nuts when I first met him. I think that's why the other squirrels chose him as their leader. He'll probably be harassing random hikers from now on.

  8. that squirrel is adorable! :D

  9. Anonymous - He sure is, but he has a huge chip on his shoulder. As a fictional character, he wants revenge in the most desperate way. As a very real squirrel, he wanted to fight me for his territory.

  10. Ah HA! I was wondering why the Florida dragon showed up here in the U.P.
    He's been sulking and hiding by my lake. If I listen really close, I can hear him opening and closing his jaws in snapping noises like he is practicing at biting. Now it all makes sense. I may have to take him downstate in my trunk.
    I am going there on Friday, I may have to leave him off I-75 with directions to your area.
    Stay tuned.
    I will be looking for him this week...
    he looks sheepish when I see him and won't give me any eye contact. He must be embarrassed by the "missed squirrel" episode...

    The Retirement Chronicles