Attacked By Snow Fairies

You know, I try to mind my own business while I'm out hiking, so I didn't deserve this at all! So what if I pester the animals sometimes with my picture taking. It doesn't hurt them one bit, and I think some of them like the attention. I mostly just quietly walk around looking at the trees. So I ask you, does this deserve a vicious attack?

No sooner had I gotten into the forest than an army of rotten little snow fairies came tinkerbelling up to me. I say rotten now, but I used to think they were delightful little creatures. I loved the way they looked like little fireflies until you got a closer look at them, to discover their little fairy faces and angelic wings. Now they're just rotten little monsters. Do you hear me snow fairies! Rotten little monsters!

It all started out innocently enough. I was happy when I saw them coming towards me from what seemed like every direction. I took as many pictures as I could while I watched them approach. I assumed that's what they wanted. I mean, why else would they approach a guy with a camera who wasn't bothering anything?

Before I knew it, they began landing on me, one after another. Even that was fine enough with me until they began their awful attack. And would you like to know in what form that attack took? It was horrible and disgusting. If you don't want to know, you may not want to read any further.

I thought there was nothing wrong until I felt something wet running down the back of my neck. It was then that I slowly reached up and gently touched my hair. It was completely soaked! On nooooo! They were using my head as a toilet! I'll get you, you rotten little snow fairies!!!

I began swatting at them to try and get them to go away! Even after their terrible attack, I still didn't want to hurt them, only to get them away. Of course this didn't work even a little bit. They still kept coming at me no matter what I did. So I ran!

I ran and ran, but this only seemed to increase the fury of their attack! I had to get to my truck! I ran out of the forest towards the parking lot of the park while the fairies still came at me. Stupidly, I stopped to take a couple more pictures, and they swarmed me again.

I quickly realized my mistake and ran for the truck. I dropped my keys twice before I finally unlocked the door. My hand slipped on the door handle when I tried to open it, because it had become slippery with their awful emanations. After all of that, I finally was able to get in.

Luckily none of the fairies followed me into the truck. But after I got the door closed and I looked out the windows, I saw that the fairies were still trying to get me. They were falling out of the sky and crashing into my windshield in their efforts to assault me. I didn't want to stick around any longer than I had to, so I started the truck and drove back home.

After all of that, I now know why so many people don't like going out in the snow. The snow fairies will get you if you don't watch out!