Sunday, February 28, 2010
Attacked By Snow Fairies
No sooner had I gotten into the forest than an army of rotten little snow fairies came tinkerbelling up to me. I say rotten now, but I used to think they were delightful little creatures. I loved the way they looked like little fireflies until you got a closer look at them, to discover their little fairy faces and angelic wings. Now they're just rotten little monsters. Do you hear me snow fairies! Rotten little monsters!
It all started out innocently enough. I was happy when I saw them coming towards me from what seemed like every direction. I took as many pictures as I could while I watched them approach. I assumed that's what they wanted. I mean, why else would they approach a guy with a camera who wasn't bothering anything?
I thought there was nothing wrong until I felt something wet running down the back of my neck. It was then that I slowly reached up and gently touched my hair. It was completely soaked! On nooooo! They were using my head as a toilet! I'll get you, you rotten little snow fairies!!!
I began swatting at them to try and get them to go away! Even after their terrible attack, I still didn't want to hurt them, only to get them away. Of course this didn't work even a little bit. They still kept coming at me no matter what I did. So I ran!
I quickly realized my mistake and ran for the truck. I dropped my keys twice before I finally unlocked the door. My hand slipped on the door handle when I tried to open it, because it had become slippery with their awful emanations. After all of that, I finally was able to get in.
Luckily none of the fairies followed me into the truck. But after I got the door closed and I looked out the windows, I saw that the fairies were still trying to get me. They were falling out of the sky and crashing into my windshield in their efforts to assault me. I didn't want to stick around any longer than I had to, so I started the truck and drove back home.
After all of that, I now know why so many people don't like going out in the snow. The snow fairies will get you if you don't watch out!