🌳 A Different Kind of Journey: The Garden of Eden Like You’ve Never Heard It

Well now, friends, I know this blog is usually about muddy trails, chirping birds, and the quiet kind of peace you only find under a tree with the breeze blowing just right. But today, I want to tell you about a different kind of adventure—one that doesn’t happen down by the creek or through the woods, but somewhere much deeper. Somewhere older.

I’ve written a new story over on my Rat Tales blog. You can find the link above.

It’s called The Garden of Eden: A Story of Knowledge, Wisdom, and Mercy. Now before you go thinking I’ve traded in my walking stick for a preacher’s robe, don’t worry—I haven’t gone and rewritten the Bible. What I’ve done is take the original story of Adam and Eve and given it a bit of imagination, some emotional insight, and a heart full of respect.

This story stays true to the heart of the biblical account, but looks at it from a fresh angle. What if we spent a little time with Eve before she ate the fruit? What if we could see God’s heartbreak as well as His judgment? What if mercy was woven into the story even before the first steps outside the Garden?

I split it into six chapters, and I’ll be publishing one each Friday. Kind of like a weekly campfire tale, only with a bit more angels and a bit less raccoons.

If you like stories with a little soul, and maybe a tear or two mixed in with the wonder, I think you’ll like it.

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📖 I Gave A Preview Copy to a Critic - Here’s What She Said

It’s thoughtful. It’s emotional. And it walks that fine line between storytelling and reverence. I’d say it complements the original story rather than competes with it.

Rating: 9.6 out of 10
A spiritually rich tale with a heavy dose of heart.

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🍎 Here’s a Little Taste of What’s Coming:

“Eve brought the fruit carefully to her lips. She paused a final moment, feeling an unspoken warning somewhere deep within. But the serpent’s eyes urged her onward, reassuring her fears.

She closed her eyes and took a gentle, delicate bite.

Instantly, knowledge flooded her mind like a fierce, uncontrollable tide. Her heart filled with shame, with fear, with a thousand questions she didn’t yet know how to ask. And for the first time in all her days, she felt alone.”

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So if you're in the mood for something a little different, but still rooted in the kind of truth that makes you stop and breathe a little deeper—check it out. The first chapter comes out this Friday. That's right now!

I reckon it’s the most important kind of journey we can take: the one that starts in the Garden, but leads straight through the human heart.

I'll talk to you later.

The Greedy Little Squirrel

I'm going to tell you a story of one lone little animal and a bunch of big noisy geese. It all began at the beginning of the nature trail at a place called Berry Lake. About a half dozen geese were milling around a small furry animal for some strange reason.

The geese would take turns honking at the poor little creature. Each one would move in close, then the little furry critter would let out a squeal and the goose would move away. The geese all looked at the little animal with great envy, but the poor little creature held its ground. I wondered what the fuss was all about, so I moved in for a closer look.

And there I found a lone little squirrel hovering over what looked like a mound of cornbread. Some naughty human decided to feed these animals, and they were now fighting over their delicious prize. I didn't think this poor little squirrel had a chance at defending itself against the villainous geese. But the sweet little squirrel had a secret.

Only the little squirrel knew it, but the dainty little squirrel was really half greedy pig. Oink!

The geese only wanted their share of the yummy cornbread. But the greedy little squirrel was hording it, and he just wouldn't share.

When the big scary human in the rat suit moved in closer the sweet little piggish squirrel leaped to his feet! The squirrel would defend his food against anything or anyone. The human was at least smart enough to keep a little bit of distance because the kind little squirrel was acting very mean and aggressive now.

But even though the squirrel was determined to steal all of the cornbread for himself, he knew when he was defeated. All of those geese, and now a rat suited human were all too much to defend his prize against. So the cute little squirrel grabbed up as much of his prize as he could and prepared to run.

Before he left, the courageous little squirrel looked up at the evil human so he could smile in triumph, but his mouth was just too full of cornbread to pull off this feat. So the sweet little squirrel gathered as much of his dignity as he could muster and he fled into the trees.

The End

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The Revenge Of Flynn

I just had the strangest adventure of all time! I was on a routine hike through the forest, at least I thought so at the time. Then I saw a squirrel in the distance of the forest. Well, I figured I hadn't had any good squirrel pictures to share in quite awhile so I stood still hoping for the right opportunity. That's when the weirdness started!

The squirrel turned and looked at me, so I thought my hopes of getting the picture had been ruined. But that's when it happened. That crazy squirrel came running straight for me! I had no idea what to do! And I equally had no idea what this squirrel was going to do! Why was it after me!!!

I then remembered that if an animal was running towards me that I should stand my ground. Running away would be a bad thing. So I waited right there to see what my new adversary might do. He obviously was coming for me though, so I had second thoughts about not running. But when he got close enough to pounce on me, he suddenly climbed up on a fallen branch and held up his front paws! He was holding something very odd!

Click To Enlarge

I thought at first that he was offering this odd silver object to me, but he held it up and close to him. What was that thing? Then as he looked right at me, pointing that little silver thing towards me, he began to chuckle in a high pitched little squirrely voice. Oh no! He was a demon sent to kill me!!!

To my surprise I heard him say in that very strange high pitched voice, "Hold still now..." Then there was a sudden clicking sound and a bright flash of light from that silver thing, and I was momentarily blinded! Oh lord help me, I've been shot! ...Oh wait, I felt just fine, but there were still bright spots of color in front of my eyes.

When my sight returned I saw that strange fox squirrel trotting leisurely away into the forest. I called out to him, asking who he was. He paused and looked back at me, and said, "Flynn, simply Flynn." Then he ran off farther into the forest, and was gone.

That was a name I knew from the past. That little rascal Flynn had gotten his revenge. I remember taking a few pictures of him nearly a year ago, while he stood there bragging about riding dogs and rescuing damsels from certain death. I never mentioned his power of speech, in fear of being thought crazy. Nah, nobody would ever think that.


Nature Center Magazine - It's the day of the week that Emma brings you another Nature Site Of The Week. Go take a look. Maybe it's yours.

Attacked By Snow Fairies

You know, I try to mind my own business while I'm out hiking, so I didn't deserve this at all! So what if I pester the animals sometimes with my picture taking. It doesn't hurt them one bit, and I think some of them like the attention. I mostly just quietly walk around looking at the trees. So I ask you, does this deserve a vicious attack?

No sooner had I gotten into the forest than an army of rotten little snow fairies came tinkerbelling up to me. I say rotten now, but I used to think they were delightful little creatures. I loved the way they looked like little fireflies until you got a closer look at them, to discover their little fairy faces and angelic wings. Now they're just rotten little monsters. Do you hear me snow fairies! Rotten little monsters!

It all started out innocently enough. I was happy when I saw them coming towards me from what seemed like every direction. I took as many pictures as I could while I watched them approach. I assumed that's what they wanted. I mean, why else would they approach a guy with a camera who wasn't bothering anything?

Before I knew it, they began landing on me, one after another. Even that was fine enough with me until they began their awful attack. And would you like to know in what form that attack took? It was horrible and disgusting. If you don't want to know, you may not want to read any further.

I thought there was nothing wrong until I felt something wet running down the back of my neck. It was then that I slowly reached up and gently touched my hair. It was completely soaked! On nooooo! They were using my head as a toilet! I'll get you, you rotten little snow fairies!!!

I began swatting at them to try and get them to go away! Even after their terrible attack, I still didn't want to hurt them, only to get them away. Of course this didn't work even a little bit. They still kept coming at me no matter what I did. So I ran!

I ran and ran, but this only seemed to increase the fury of their attack! I had to get to my truck! I ran out of the forest towards the parking lot of the park while the fairies still came at me. Stupidly, I stopped to take a couple more pictures, and they swarmed me again.

I quickly realized my mistake and ran for the truck. I dropped my keys twice before I finally unlocked the door. My hand slipped on the door handle when I tried to open it, because it had become slippery with their awful emanations. After all of that, I finally was able to get in.

Luckily none of the fairies followed me into the truck. But after I got the door closed and I looked out the windows, I saw that the fairies were still trying to get me. They were falling out of the sky and crashing into my windshield in their efforts to assault me. I didn't want to stick around any longer than I had to, so I started the truck and drove back home.

After all of that, I now know why so many people don't like going out in the snow. The snow fairies will get you if you don't watch out!

Fiction Friday - Tribes

Today I am introducing the triumphant return of Fiction Friday. I haven't written a completely fictitious story in quite some time, but now I finally feel the time has come. I will make no commitment to write a fiction story every week this time, but I will write a new one whenever it comes to me. I'll now introduce you to the tribes. Let me know what you think.

 Tribes

The tribes have lived in relative peace since we arrived here thousands of years ago. Our origins have been lost to the ages. Only a few of our ancient writings have survived to give us any clue at all. From those writings we know that we came from elsewhere through the Acweorna to discover new places, but something went terribly wrong and we were stranded in this place.

The ancient records say we tried for many years to get back home, but after several generations most of us finally gave up. As time passed our population grew, and we slowly began branching off to form different tribes. We also slowly lost most of our technology over time as we tried to survive in this primitive place. Too many hardships and disasters left us with virtually none of our former advantages. The only thing we had left was our superior intelligence.

The one technology we were able to maintain was a remnant of the Acweorna. We have never been able to rebuild it to be able to travel again, but we have been able to use some of its technology to build many other things. It has been the basis of all of our technology then and now, and we use it for almost everything from food to shelter. We continue to experiment with it, and make new advancements in science. We hope that one day we'll be able to unlock some of the old secrets.

In the early times we were alone in this place, but after many centuries animals from this place began to appear, and with them there came the giants. The giants are creatures that resembled a few of the hairier others that seemed able to use their hands almost as efficiently as we do. We soon discovered that the giants were very different.

The giants seemed to quickly gain an advantage over the other animals. They appeared to be smarter than the others and we thought at one time that their intelligence even rivaled our own. We quickly lost that notion when some of us tried to communicate with them. The giants attacked and killed many of us, just like many of the other animals always tried to do. We learned then that they would always be an enemy to be feared.

Knowing that it's impossible to hide from them, we pretend to be just like any other animal when the giants come near. We have superior intelligence and technology, but the giants have vastly superior numbers. As it stands right now, we would be wiped out if we really decided to claim our rightful place here. But we are coming ever closer to the day when we will be ready to take over and rule this place.

Recently though, we have noticed that some of the giants have been watching us a little too closely. We cannot take the chance of them discovering our secret. We still maintain our animalistic behavior when these giants approach, but we also watch them very closely. They seem to have devices that scan us in some way. We don't like this so we yell at them to go away. Most of them take the hint, but some keep at it. Those are the ones we watch.

This brings me to an incident that happened not very long ago. There was a leader of one of the nearby tribes that had a problem with a particularly bothersome giant. The tribe leader was known for being rather impulsive with a bad temper to top it off. After several unpleasant encounters with this giant, The tribe leader took action and locked the giant up intending to do away with it.

Well, he underestimated the numbers of the giants that would be called to its defense. The others soon freed this giant, and it proceeded to send a beast to wipe out several members of that tribe. The tribe leader went insane with rage and went on a rampage of revenge throughout the world. Because of his insanity, it was completely ineffective. That leader's actions almost cost us everything, and as a result he is now considered a renegade. His whereabouts are at this time unknown.

His initial actions must have stirred the curiosity of that particular giant though, because it now continues its investigation of us with an almost feverish passion. We tried ignoring it at first with the hopes that it would give up and go away, but it still gets closer all the time. We have now decided that we have to protect our secret at any cost, so we have begun watching the giant very closely.

The only problem is that the giant has noticed our observations of it, and it seems to make it even more curious. We now have no choice but to take further action against it. We have several plans in place, and extermination is one of our many options. Our actions will be determined by the behavior of this giant. We fear the worst, but we must keep our secrets.

- The log of Scitana Sciuridae 01.34.47

Squirrels Are My Friends

When I woke up this morning I remembered the crazy things I said in my post from yesterday. I thought it had to be a dream or something. Squirrels spying on me? It has to be a ridiculous notion, right? Then I checked my blog just to make sure everything was normal there. There must be a polite little post about a cool looking tree or something...

Noooo!  There it was, right there on the front page! That insane post about evil alien squirrels from another place. Where? Another place. Only a crazy person could have written those strange things. I mean, I like squirrels, I really do. They're just innocent little forest creatures that mean us no harm. No harm at all.

I must admit that I haven't been really feeling all that well lately, so that must be what's behind that moment of total insanity. Sure, I remember writing the post, and I remember thinking all of those crazy things, but who in their right mind would really believe anything as strange as what I wrote?

Take this cute little squirrel in these pictures for instance. Just because he stood there watching me for what seemed like an eternity doesn't mean he was spying on me. I know the real reason he was watching me like that. It was because... Um, well, if you don't know by now, I'm certainly not gonna tell you!

It's just... They're not watching me, I tell you! It's all just a coincidence! I know they never paid too much attention to me before. The fact that so many of them seem to study me as if I were some sort of bug just doesn't matter. What really matters is that I got cool pictures of some of the most amusing little forest creatures you've ever seen!

After reading all of the comments from yesterday's post, my mind was soothed even further. All of your kind comments calmed me down considerably and helped me think logically again. The one that helped the most was the comment by SquirrelQueen. She assured me that the squirrels meant no harm. No harm at all. And she should know, she is their queen after all.

There's only one problem I have with all of this. I mean, I know it was just some kind of crazy fever dream or something that made me write those twisted things. But when I decided to go out for awhile, I went to put on my coat and I found something odd.

There were acorns in my pockets! Aahhhhhhh!!!

The Depraved Ducks

I'm going to tell you a little story about some mallard ducks I saw. You'll see by the pictures that this is a true story. Or at least crazy imaginative speculation by an Everyday Adventurer who likes to pretend he's a rat. When it's all over I guess it's up to you to decide what's real and what's just nonsense from the mind of a quiet explorer.

You see, when I got to the lake I noticed that, unlike the summer months, most of the ducks that were swimming here were males. You can tell the males by their brighter gray bodies and their dark green heads. Female mallards are pretty much all shades of brown. That's the female in front of the three males in the back.

As you can see, the female is swimming past the three males. She seems to be moving past at a nice pace, unlike the males who are just lazily floating there in one spot. One of those guys is obviously showing off, by flipping his wings back a little, to anyone willing to watch. That's when this pretty little female came into view.

As soon as those two on the left saw her they quickly lifted their heads up and took notice! The one in the back suddenly appears to be much bigger than he was before. He also has his mouth hanging open. I don't know what happened here, but that poor little girl duck seemed to suddenly become so frightened that she took off like a shot.

One of those two jerks must have said something very rude to her. The third male, the one on the right, seemed oblivious to the whole thing. He was obviously not with those other two, who were clearly up to no good. As those two villains watched, the little female duck sped past as if her tail was on fire!

Of course, once the two bad guys saw that the sweet little female duck was too fast for them, they clearly lost interest. The big one in the back turned to see to other matters as if he had done nothing wrong at all. The guy in front still stared at the retreating female, probably snickering to himself. And just like that, it was all over.

This all reminded me of the old stereotype of the group of lazy construction workers who liked to stand at the edge of the sidewalk while eating their lunch, yelling insults and catcalls, and generally harassing every female that passed by. After seeing this scene I began to wonder if other animals do things like this too. What do you think? Do jerk ducks like this exist?

(Some of you may have noticed that I haven't been very active in the comments section here or at your blog. I've just been recharging my batteries a bit so I can come back with more energy and enthusiasm. I'll be back to making obnoxious comments all over the internet very soon.)

Alone In The Dark

There's one more thing that happened on the day of the big storm that I want to tell you about. There was something in the forest that day that I just couldn't explain. It was a feeling of fear that wouldn't go away, no matter what I did.

As soon as I entered the forest I knew there was something different about it. The obvious thing was that it was very dark in there. The mist that was hanging in the air permeated throughout the forest. I like walking around in the dark, so I suspected nothing when I first saw it.

The odd thing was that it was unusually quiet that day. The mosquitoes that I expected were nowhere in sight. I was surprised that they weren't there to mercilessly suck my blood, but I was glad I could slow down to a leisurely pace and look around.

It began to get even darker as I got deeper into the forest. For some reason the combination of the quiet darkness and the light obscuring mist that hung heavily over everything made the forest begin to seem as if it was closing in on me.

I felt foolish for it, but I was beginning to become frightened as I walked deeper into the darkness. I just wish it wasn't so quiet! Just then I heard a loud cracking sound behind me! I jumped as I quickly spun around to meet my imaginary attacker!

I saw nothing in the forest but more darkness. More foolishness. I had to stop this! I turned back around to continue my journey just as a small black figure shot across my path! Whew! It was only a lone black squirrel. They are so hard to photograph. I think of them as the ghosts of the forest.

I scolded myself again for my foolishness. There's nothing to be afraid of. It's only the dark. I've never feared this place before, or any place in the forest before. Why am I so afraid right now? This is supposed to be an adventure and there's nothing behind me ready to jump out at me!

As soon as that thought came into my head about twenty dark shapes leaped noisily into the air and flew swiftly past me! Aaaaahhhh!!! Oh, it was only a flock of birds. Those flying jerks! They must have sensed my fear, and did it on purpose!

But then I saw more of them throughout the forest. They were actually almost everywhere. My fear was subsiding. I thought I could enjoy this walk in the woods now. I began to see more of those black squirrels, but only right as they disappeared behind trees or ran deep into the forest. Why did everything in the forest have to be so dark today?

That's when I saw the light up ahead...

The only light in the forest had an eerie glow because of the mist. The light seemed to shine down on this old dead gnarled tree. Its branches seemed to be reaching out and searching the forest. I imagined the branches quivering and growing, and slithering through the trees right toward me.

But why would this scare me? I'm The Everyday Adventurer. I'm not afraid of anything in the forest, really. I'm not. Nothing could happen to me out here. A tree couldn't just reach out and grab somebody... Could it?

Teasing The Geese: Conclusion

When I left you yesterday there was a conflict between good and evil forming in my mind. I had been teasing some friendly little Canada Geese by pretending I was tossing food to them, but it was only pebbles that I was using to lure them closer with. Then I began to feel a creeping shame come over me, and that is where I will begin today.

I was looking at the geese as they began to leave once again, and then I looked down at the ground where I got the pebbles. I looked back at the geese, wanting them to come back, but feeling ashamed at what I had done. They thought I was their friend, but I had betrayed them! Then I looked back down at the ground. I felt bad, but I knew what I had to do.

Once again I reached down to the place where I got the pebbles, and I pulled up a handful of weeds that I thought the geese might like. I didn't know if this would make amends but I had to try. I had to become the friend of these geese again and repair the damage I had done to their feelings. So I tossed the weeds onto the lake, right in front of them.

The geese then turned back, still trusting me all the way, and quickly swam towards the weeds. One of the geese was so eager that it nipped at one of the others to chase it away from potentially the tasty treat in front of them. What a greedy goose! There was plenty for all of them! They began to nibble at the weeds I had thrown to them, and I happily realized they liked them!

I quickly grabbed more and tossed them into the water. They just as quickly gobbled up this second handful. I wasn't done there! I grabbed a third handful of these weeds for the geese, and raised my hand to toss them out to them, and the geese, in unison, followed my hand with their heads as it went up to release their treat. That's when the evil voice triumphantly returned!

Evil is sly and swift in the way it can convince somebody to do what it wants, and I seemed to be a very willing victim. So instead of releasing the treat I lowered my hand slowly and watched the geese follow me. Now I was in command! I was the evil ruler of these gullible geese! I waved the food around to show them my power, and they followed my every move. Ha ha ha ha ha!!!

When I got bored with that, I finally threw the weeds to my new minions. I let them have the weeds and I turned and walked away to find another adventure. That's all. The evil voice won and the good voice lost. What? Did you expect good to win? Let this be a lesson to you. No matter how much you want it, good doesn't always win! (Cue evil laughter, and fade to black.)

Teasing The Geese

I'm going to tell you a little story about a jerk named Ratty and some poor innocent hungry geese. I would first like to warn you not to do the things that I'm about to tell you about. In any interaction with a wild animal there's always a risk that you could could be attacked. Don't worry though, that will not happen here. The animals in this story are purely innocent victims!

While I was at the viewing platform of the lake at the back of my most frequently visited nature park, I noticed four geese swimming very close by. How could I not notice a thing like that? Well, if you've been reading my stuff for awhile you know how much I love taking pictures of the geese, so you can guess what I did next.

Okay then, I'll tell you anyway. I ran like a madman to the edge of the platform and leaned over the railing so I could get some good pictures before they swam away! The funny thing is that they didn't swim away at all. In fact, they swam closer to the platform! This was a very foolish thing for them to do, because for some odd reason Ratty's nature loving mind turned instantly EVIL.

I tried to fight these evil thoughts that were running through my brain. I really did! But it was no use at all. The dark side had taken over. I even continued to take my pictures while this conflict was going on in my head. All the while these poor innocent geese suspected nothing, so after a few minutes they became bored with me and began to swim away. But the evil voices in my head told me how I could lure them back...

I quickly looked to the right, and then to the left. I found exactly what I needed. I scooped up a few pebbles from the pavement beneath me and then proceeded to toss them into the lake just in front of me. They made a nice series of tiny plops and splashes that the geese heard immediately.

The geese, of course, thought I was throwing food to them. They all spun around at the same time and swam swiftly back towards me. They searched the water near where the pebbles fell, and after finding nothing, looked up at me in anticipation. Little did they know that there was an evil monster staring back at them, and he had no food for them at all.

I used this purely as a tool to get more pictures of these geese while they were so close to me. Now, even though geese aren't necessarily the smartest creatures in the world they began to realize that I had no food for them. So they began to turn away from me again. Nooooo!!! I quickly scooped up more delicious pebbles for them and did what I had to do. Got 'em again! Ha!

When they turned back and looked expectantly at me, a new voice in my head began to speak. It was very quiet at first but began to grow in volume. It kept telling me to remember how much I loved these poor trusting little geese. It reminded me that one of them was probably the lovely mother goose that I watched for so long. A conflict was beginning to form in my brain.

Since this post is running quite a bit longer than I thought it would, I'm going to have to bring up an ugly word. Cliffhanger. Honestly now, would you really want to read this story if it was so long that it took you the rest of the day? I didn't think so. So come back tomorrow to see if this evil Rat picked up one of these innocent geese and devoured it, or if Ratty the Good showered them all with gifts.

The Heron And The Blackbird

Did you ever wish you were someone else? Did you ever wish you were bigger, smaller, more attractive? What about being the one that everybody else likes? All your troubles would be gone. That can sound pretty good sometimes, even to a bird.

There is a heron and a blackbird in this picture. The blackbird seems to be looking at the heron with admiration. Everybody likes the heron. We all want pictures of this beautiful majestic bird. But what about the little blackbird? It seems common and ordinary.

Maybe the blackbird wants to be the one that we all admire. But how could it do that? Maybe the only way is to become a heron itself. The heron looks so big and graceful to the blackbird. The blackbird can dream and dream that it was the heron. Or it could stay close to the heron just to be near that beautiful creature.

The blackbird is forgetting one thing though. The heron may be a beautiful bird, but so is the blackbird. The heron doesn't have the beautiful red markings on its wings that the red-winged blackbird does. When the heron takes flight can it flash it's wings like this beautiful red-winged blackbird? I don't think so!

When the smaller red-winged blackbird began to understand that it was just as beautiful as the big heron, it decided that it was okay to just be itself. Its unique appearance made it beautiful, so why would it want to be something else?

Realizing all of this, the red-winged blackbird decided it didn't need to worship the heron after all. So it spread its wings and leaped up into the sky and flew away. Watching it fly away, the heron gazed at the blackbird and thought to itself, "I wish I was a beautiful red-winged blackbird."

Who Is Ratty?

Who is Ratty? That is a short but very complex question. Some of you have wondered about it, and some haven't thought about it at all. Most of us use pseudonyms here on the internet. This one is different though. Ratty is a legend. Ratty was a hero. Today I am Ratty, but I'm not the original. Ratty was my uncle, and Ratty was my best friend.

I said this was a pseudonym for me, and obviously it wasn't his real name either. I use it here on the internet, the same as any of you use yours. It was his for a much more interesting reason. I didn't just take his name for just any old reason. I did it because I guess I'm also the one who gave it to him. This is going to take some explaining, because it's a very different kind of story.

This story starts when I was only a baby. And yes, although it may sound unusual, I do remember back that far. One of my few remaining memories of my favorite uncle was when he used to bring me piles of change. I used to drop the coins down into the cracks of my grandparents' front steps. It was a fun thing for a little kid to do, and he didn't mind at all.

It was around this time that my uncle was drafted into the army, and into one of the worst wars in our country's history. He became a tank driver, which sounds like it would be a pretty safe job in a war, and it was. He used to send me pictures of him standing beside the tank. One of them showed where they had run over a land mine. The explosion created a huge hole in the ground. The tank was mostly undamaged.

One time, when his tank was in for repairs, he volunteered to go on a rescue mission. My grandpa told him never to volunteer for things like that. He did anyway. They went to rescue some wounded soldiers. They were given a kind of truck that was known for not having any protection at all. This time it was the truck that ran over a land mine. My uncle didn't come back alive.

I was only a little older than two years old at this time. I didn't understand the concept of death yet, so my mom decided not to take me to the funeral. There also wasn't any real way to tell me about him yet. It was about this time that I received a visit from somebody. It might sound strange, but the visitor was my uncle.

I still remember that day. My mom and I were in the kitchen, and my mom had to go down to the basement for something. The back door was open, but the outside screen door was locked. I watched as my uncle came up the stairs of the back porch to the door. I told him that I would go get my mom for him, but he said not to do it because he was in a hurry, and the one he came to talk to was me.

I don't remember much of the conversation anymore, I was only a few years old after all. I do remember that he told me he would be back. My mom came up the stairs soon after he left. After she asked me who I was talking to, I told her it was my uncle. He was her younger brother.

To this day, my mom tells me she heard me talking to somebody up there. She had her hands full, and was frantically trying to get upstairs. Even back then, kids shouldn't talk to strangers. I knew that very well, but he was not a stranger. My mom knew I was telling the truth as I saw it, and that I must have known who I was talking to. Besides, there was nobody there anymore, not even outside.

Shortly after this happened I made a new friend. He was a kid that was a little older than me. He told me his name was Ratty. I knew him for a long time, and we played together the way little kids do. There was one time where I was teasing my new little brother with a worm, and Ratty took it from me and covered it up so my brother wouldn't be afraid anymore. I learned a new lesson.

This whole time, my parents just assumed that I had an imaginary friend. Lots of little kids have them at some point. At the same time all of this was happening, my grandma had the idea to put pictures of each family member on one of her living room walls. For my uncle, she used an old picture from when he was a little kid. It had been packed away for several years, and nobody had seen it in all that time.

When we went to visit my grandparents, I immediately noticed that picture. I identified it as my best friend Ratty. I was much too young to have ever seen this picture before. Nobody else knew what to think of this, but they most likely dismissed it as the imagination of a small child. Wouldn't you?

I continued to play with my friend, but through the years his visits became less and less frequent. They finally stopped shortly before I started school. He still occasionally visited me in my dreams, but it just wasn't the same.

Was this all only the imagination of a child? Or was it something much more special? I don't have that answer for you, because I simply don't know. I do know that it was all real to me, and I still remember everything, including his face.

So, who is Ratty? That was Ratty. I use this name to honor my uncle, and my best friend. Thanks Ratty. I'll never forget.

Henry Heinrich's Horrible Hallucination

Fiction Friday

Hello, my name is Henry. I have a story to tell you about something that just happened to me. It might seem strange, but I think I've been hallucinating. I mean, it must all be a hallucination, right? It has to be!!!

It all started when I was reading a story on the internet. It was about some idiot that started a war with a bunch of squirrels. The story was kind of stupid but I liked it anyway, so I decided to look through the site. As I started reading I saw that there were some very good ideas on how being out in the middle of nature can relieve some of the stress from our everyday lives, so I decided I might try it for myself.

After one particular tiring day at work, I was driving home through a wooded area. I saw a sign for a nature preserve, and I decided to stop and go in. I noticed it was just like the website said, there was a small dirt trail leading into the woods, and a sign with some park rules. I was still kind of stressed out, and I didn't need no stinking rules, so I walked right in without reading them.

I have to tell you, after walking for a little ways in the woods, my stress began to melt away. The air smelled so fresh. And there were all sorts of beautiful plants, little animals like squirrels and a few other cute little things. I didn't start any wars though, I was too relaxed now. As a matter of fact, I was feeling so relaxed that I decided to take a little siesta beside a tree that I saw several feet off the trail. Just a short nap, no big thing.

I must have been asleep longer than I thought, because when I woke up it was beginning to get dark. I figured I'd better get up and head on home. I really felt much better now than when I got here. I was going to remember to come back here as often as I could. As I got to my feet, I heard the sound of a man clearing his throat.

I turned toward the sound and saw a man standing there in a white suit. Everything about this guy seemed to sparkle. His suit was the cleanest I've ever seen, complete with odd looking red tie. He was a tall slim man with slicked back black hair and a little thin mustache, and he was looking right at me. If you're not already thinking it, I'll say it. This was really strange out here in the forest!

Since he was staring so intensely at me, I decided to ask him, "Uhmm, is there something you want?"

"Well of course there's something I want," he said. "I want you! I mean, I want to talk to you. I have a deal for you, and I don't think you can refuse this one." I began to put two and two together, and I remembered reading stories like this before. I didn't think he had any deal that I'd really like. This kind of deal never worked out very well for guys like me, and I told him so.

He kind of laughed and said, "That's all in the past! In these modern times I let you think it out before we finalize the deal. In the past it was just my inexperience that led to a few bad endings to a few little agreements."

"What happened with those past agreements? I don't want something bad to happen to me. Not that I'm agreeing to anything, I just want to know," I asked suspiciously.

He said, "Well, there was the time a man asked for one billion dollars and..."

"Wait a minute," I said. "A billion dollars! So you really are..."

"That's right! The one and only, but let me finish," he said. "I gave him the money, all in pennies, and I kind of accidentally dropped it on his house with him inside. That was too bad for him," he chuckled. "We'll make sure that won't happen with you though. You're much smarter than him, and besides, I'll protect you for this one, because I'm trying to repair my bad reputation. It's just not good for business to keep letting my marks die on me."

I didn't like the way this was going, so I asked him how he would guarantee that I wouldn't die. I figured that if I played along, he'd let me leave soon. He said, "Well, I'll make sure you don't ask for anything quite so outrageous as a billion dollars. It's always the greed that does 'em in, so try to ask for something that might help others. You know, like having a superpower or something. You could be some sort of superhero, and I guarantee you won't die."

Actually, I thought, this was getting interesting now. A superpower sounded kind of cool. I know, I could be Superman! Wait, no, that was getting greedy and he said not to be greedy. I'll only pick one superpower, but which one? "I want to fly! I mean, I want the power of flight," I told him.

"A wonderful choice," he exclaimed. "You will have the power of flight. It will last your whole lifetime, and I guarantee that no harm will come to you as a result. Your wish is granted. The deal is done!" As soon as the last words were out of his mouth he disappeared in a puff of smoke.

I was kind of scared, but it was too late, the deal was done. I decided that maybe I should try out my new special power. I jumped into the air, and nothing happened. Just kidding! I flew! I was now soaring freely in the air! I was really flying! I did it! I was the first one to get the better of him in a deal!

Because this was so great, I decided to fly around for the rest of the day. I eventually tired myself out, so I decided to find another nice place to rest, somewhere nearby. I looked down and saw a piece of land in the middle of a small lake. That looked like as good a place as any to take a nap after my first day as the newest superhero.

I woke up to the sound of footsteps coming towards me. I thought it was him again coming to try and change the deal, since I had beaten him so badly. But when I turned to look, I saw a completely different sight. It was some big idiot wearing a hat of fake mouse ears, and a toy eye patch. He was running towards me with a camera in his hand!

He lifted the camera in my direction and took a picture. I angrily looked at him and yelled, "HONK!!!"

The Return Of Mr. Nutz

Fiction Friday

Well, it seems there has been a very strange turn of events in the squirrel war that we all thought was long over with. Mr. Nutz is back! And he is alive and well, mostly. It seems a dragon nipped the tip of his tail. There he is in these pictures, looking as healthy as ever.

The last we all saw of the very angry squirrel, Mr. Nutz, was when it appeared that he was swallowed whole by a surprisingly evil Florida dragon. I admitted my horrible wrongdoing back then, when I stole the dragon so I could murder the squirrels out of misguided revenge.

I think my mind was being controlled by that dragon. It was all his fault. Yeah, that's the ticket! It was all the fault of the dragon. He made me do it. You gotta believe me! I even tried to apologize, but it fell on deaf ears. Please, feel sorry for me! Anyway, that's my story, and I'm sticking to it!

It seems the angry Mr, nutz has had quite an adventure since we last saw him. He told me the whole story, between threats of hunting me down and destroying my acorns. It seems the dragon only nipped his tail a little bit, but he got away and led what was left of his squirrel army to the other side of the world in an attempt to hide.

He claimed that they traveled all the way to The Philippines, where they hid out in a zoo for awhile. Then when they thought it might be safe, they made their way over to Malaysia. One of the black squirrels in the group was almost run down by a speeding motorist.

While there, Mr. Nutz said they saw another guy with a camera wandering around. He told me it reminded him of me, so they followed him home and destroyed his modem. They thought they had a measure of satisfaction from that, but I told them the guy was just fine now, so they failed again. This made Mr. Nutz pretty angry as I laughed when I told this to him.

He claimed revenge is coming for both men. I told him he's just a squirrel without a nut, because if he was going to do anything to them, he wouldn't have come back here. I began laughing again as he got more and more angry with me. It was pretty funny watching this little squirrel's tail shivering with rage.

When the squirrels finally came back, they decided to hide out in a few houses along the way, chewing up whatever they found. They did it all because they were trying to get revenge on as many humans as they could. These little creeps were rampaging their way all the way back to Michigan. Has anyone else seen evidence of their worldwide rampage?

Finally, an army of dolls, uh, I mean action figures decided to defend us all from this rampaging army of squirrels. I received a report late last night that they had taken out Mr. Nutz, and thwarted the march of the monstrous squirrels. It turned out that it was only one of Mr. Nutz' body guard lookalikes. He evaded death again.

Now Mr. Nutz is back, and threatening revenge on anyone standing in his way! He has become slightly crazed(nuts) by his ordeal with the dragon, and he vows to get us all back. I think he just lost his acorns, and he's no threat at all. Is anybody really worried about a squirrel anyway?

He finished telling me the story, as I continued laughing at his threats. With one last snarl of anger, he lunged at me and missed, as I quickly dodged out of the way. He hit the ground running and scampered off into the forest vowing to steal my nuts. Stupid squirrel. I'm not worried. Well I'm not. Really.

Jack And The Rabbit

Here's a little fairytale I wrote in honor of the upcoming holiday, but it can be read even without the holiday in mind. It may seem to be more of a child's story, even though the first Jack story probably isn't. I still hope a few adults can enjoy it too.

Fiction Friday

A while ago, I told the story of Jack And The Magic Stick. It was the real story of Jack And The Beanstalk. In that story, Jack made quite a bit of money by doing some awful things with a stick he got in a trade for his mother's only cow. His mother was completely fooled, and she thought he just traded the cow for a nice sum of cash. She also thought Jack had mended his lazy ways.

Since then, Jack's family farm began to prosper. Jack continued to earn easy money with his horrible stick exhibition, and his mother, not knowing of this, used the money to buy very many more farm animals. It seemed like everything was good, until Jack's mother made him help on the farm.

One of the animals she bought was a little rabbit that didn't seem very healthy, but Jack's mother felt sorry for it. She took it home and soon nursed it back to health. The rabbit now seemed very happy in it's new home. There was only one problem though, and that problem was named Jack.

Jack didn't like the rabbit, because his mother paid so much attention to it while it was sick. She had to do it if the rabbit was going to get healthy. The rabbit became her pride and joy, because it seemed to appreciate her help so much. This of course made Jack extremely jealous.

He didn't like any of the animals on the farm, and never had a good word or look for any of them. He hated his new job as a farmer, and he made it no secret to anyone, except his mother. He especially liked to release his wrath on the rabbit.

He would chase the poor thing around with hedge clippers, and threaten to cut off it's long ears. One time, he grabbed it by the ears and flung it across the yard! It was amazingly unhurt, because Jack's mother kept it very healthy. He also terrorized the other animals so bad that I can't mention most of it here.

Meanwhile, Jack's mother didn't know any of this was happening. The animals thought she was just the most wonderful human being ever. They would do anything for her. They always made sure that they did there share of the work on the farm, and more. She loved all of the animals, and they loved her back just as much.

The cows always gave her plenty of milk. The sheep gave more wool than she could ever need. And the chickens didn't mind laying eggs for Jack's mother, even though they knew what she used them for. After all, laying eggs is what chickens were for. They were happy to help the farm.

Jack didn't care for any of this! He desperately hated being a farmer. Trouble was what he liked, and trouble was what he caused. One of his favorite things to do was to steal the chicken's eggs and throw them at the other animals. He loved the way they would splat against their heads.

The rabbit, who wanted to stop Jack's bad behavior, decided to save the eggs by hiding them from him. So he asked the chickens to help him. First, he figured out a way to keep Jack from splatting those eggs if he ever did find them. He asked the chickens to boil them until they became hard. They wouldn't splat now! Then the animals disguised the eggs by painting them all different colors.

When the animals were finished disguising the eggs, the rabbit hid them all over the farm. He thought Jack would never find them now. Then when Jack gave up looking, the rabbit would show Jack's mother where they all were. It seemed like the perfect plan in the mind of a rabbit.

When Jack went to steal the eggs so he could throw them at the cows, he found nothing there. He thought that maybe there weren't any eggs yet today, so he promptly left to find other mischief to cause. As he was walking through the grass by the house, he accidentally kicked something.

He looked down and saw what seemed to him like a colored rock. He picked it up, and delightedly thought to himself that it was the prettiest rock he had ever seen. It looked kind of like an egg, he thought. Just as he slipped it into his pocket, he spotted another one just a short distance away.

He took a step towards it, and promptly tripped and fell. He felt something crunch in his pocket, and reached in and pulled out the colored rock, only to find that it was now cracked all over. He noticed he could peel off the outside, and began to do so. Not being very bright, he took a bite of the soft egg within.

Luckily, he discovered it was good! He now knew it was an egg, but didn't know how it got that way. He was completely delighted! He quickly began searching for the other eggs. He didn't want to splat these, they were good. He was having so much fun, and he wanted to show this to his mother. He thought this was much better than an illegal scheme. He could show this to everybody!

The rabbit saw all of this, and understood that this was a good way to make children happy. If they were happy, maybe they wouldn't cause the kind of mischief that Jack used to do. He decided to tell other rabbits about this so they could tame any unruly children they might meet, and also to reward all of the good children. It worked well both ways!

Hiding eggs became a very popular thing for rabbits to do. They loved watching the delight on the children's faces when they would find them. The rabbits liked this so much that some of them still hide colored eggs for children to this very day.

A Big Goose Egg

Fiction Friday

It was another quiet day at the nature park today, but it was okay because I like days like this. I thought maybe I'd go down and check out the lake, since there didn't seem to be much animal activity either. There weren't even any geese swimming around, so I decided to just relax and watch the water.

After awhile, I noticed the geese were all over at their nesting area, further up the lake. Usually they come over to beg for food, but they seemed strangely quiet today. I decided since they wouldn't come to me, I'd take a few pictures of them right where they were then. They wouldn't get away that easy!

As I was looking over there to decide where best to point the camera, I noticed something odd. There was a glint of the color gold in the weeds, just to the right of the geese. At first I thought nothing of it, but as I kept looking, I noticed that the gold seemed to be in the shape of an egg.

Then I started to put two and two together. The only problem was that I kept coming up with five. I remembered the story of the goose that laid the golden egg, but I knew it was only a fairy tale. Fairy tale or not though, I seemed to be looking right at a golden egg myself.

My mind started to race. I began to think to myself over and over, "Gold! Gold! GOLD!!!" I needed to climb a hill to get close to that end of the lake and the golden egg. So I ran up the hill so I could get what I now convinced myself must be an actual golden egg.

I reached my destination, and I was now standing at the top of the hill looking far down at the place where the geese were nesting. I guess I was going to have to climb down there if I was going to get what I decided was now rightfully mine. I was going to be rich!

As I began to move forward, I felt a push from behind! I now found myself tumbling all the way down this thirty foot slope. I think I landed on every tender place on me that there could be! What seemed like hours took only a few seconds, and I had bounced to a halt at the edge of the lake.

I was surprisingly unhurt. After I stood up, the first thing I did was look back up the hill to see who pushed me. It better not be a squirrel! I quickly saw that it was no squirrel. It was that little guy dressed in green that I encountered a few weeks ago.

As he looked down at me, he yelled, "I know what yer after! That's my gold, and you better stay away from it!" I wasn't going to take that from a runt! No leprechaun could stop me. I turned toward the golden egg, with the intention of claiming my new prize. As I looked for it again, I quickly realized that it was gone!

The geese were still there though, and they didn't look happy with me. I was done starting wars with animals, so I turned and quickly left them in peace. I went as fast as could, right back up that hill. I was going to get that leprechaun this time!

I finally made it to the top, and I stood there trying to catch my breath. Then I saw the little jerk leprechaun standing a short distance away grinning at me. He had the egg! That egg was almost as big as him, but he held it as if it weighed nothing. He was bouncing it from one hand to the other.

I wanted to get that egg! I had to catch him and take it from him! I quickly( well, almost quickly) moved towards him, and he turned and ran! He was heading straight for the tree that he jumped into the last time I chased him. I made it in there before, so I didn't think he could escape like that. I just wish I could remember what happened after I got in there last time.

I was right behind him as he made his way toward the hole in the side of the tree! He dove in and quickly disappeared. Then I leaped towards it, knowing that I had him now, and with a loud crack I slammed head first into the side of the tree!

I laid there for a minute realizing that the cartoons are right. You really do see stars when you crack your head. I slowly sat up trying to focus my eyes. I noticed that I was several feet away from the tree, and I couldn't quite stand up yet.

As things started to come back into focus, the leprechaun came back out of the tree. I thought maybe he was going to make sure I was alright. But then he did something else. He turned away from me, dropped his pants, started laughing hysterically, and he was now moving his butt from side to side! The little jerk mooned me!!!


I was furious! I started to get up but my legs were still limp from my collision with the tree, so I flopped back down to the ground. The leprechaun, still laughing at me, then slowly raised his pants and calmly walked back into the hole in the tree. I knew I wasn't going to catch him now, so I was left with nothing. Zero. Zip. Nada. A big fat goose egg. Oh well, there's always next Friday.


Related Posts

• The Little Green Man
• The Florida Dragon
• Squirrel Gone Nuts
• The Squirrel Strikes Back
• Squirrel War 1