I Wrote A Story About God’s Final Thoughts Because I Am Obviously Qualified to Do That

Let’s just say what we’re all thinking.

Writing a story called The Last Thought of God is a humble act, comparable only to climbing Mount Everest in flip-flops, or rewriting the Constitution on a napkin at Denny’s. Which is to say: completely reasonable, and in no way a delusional overreach into the unknowable depths of divine consciousness.

Did I consult a theologian? No.
Did I reference scripture? Please.
I invented a God and then made him sad, thoughtful, and vaguely poetic.

Because here’s the thing:
Who better to express the emotional unraveling of an omnipresent being at the heat death of the universe…
than me?

Exactly.

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What the Story’s About (Allegedly)

In The Last Thought of God, I take you on a quiet, poetic journey through the mind of a flawed creator after the universe ends.
He reflects.
He regrets.
He contemplates deleting himself like a divine social media account…

…until he senses something drifting in the void.

It’s heavy. It’s thoughtful. It’s… basically a cosmic therapy session in literary form.

You can read the whole story here:
👉 Rat Tales

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What Critics Are (Definitely) Saying

Final Verdict by a Totally Real and Not Invented Literary Critic:

"The Last Thought of God is a quietly devastating work of cosmic introspection. It takes a grand question—What if even God felt he had failed?—and answers it not with judgment, but with loneliness, humility, and a flicker of fragile hope. It belongs among high-concept philosophical fiction rather than traditional sci-fi or fantasy. Readers of Ted Chiang, Borges, or Clarke would find this deeply moving."

— Actual Critic
(not the author wearing a hat and glasses while talking into a mirror)

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Why You Should Read It (Besides the Fact That It’s Obviously Perfect)

• You enjoy stories that take place in the vast loneliness of space with emotional baggage.

• You want to see a god cry. Or at least sigh a lot.

• You like speculative fiction that asks, “What if free will is the reason everything falls apart?”

• You’re secretly hoping for a twist. (There is one.)

• You just love existential sadness wrapped in stars.

Or maybe…
You just want to see how far one writer’s ego will go when handed a keyboard and a cosmic question.

Either way,
The Last Thought of God is ongoing now. The first two chapters are live. And you can read the whole thing for free.
Because if you’re going to rewrite the nature of existence itself… you might as well give it away on a blog.

👉 Rat Tales

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Disclaimer: No gods were harmed in the making of this story.
Though some were emotionally wounded.

 

My Blizzard Hike Misadventure

Hey there, fellow nature enthusiasts and reckless adventurers! Today, I'm here to share a tale that you might think is a little funny but also wags a finger at the more foolhardy among us. It's about the time I decided to challenge Mother Nature herself and learned a lesson in humility – and physics.

Picture this: a few years back, I was your everyday hiking adventurer, hitting the trails of my local nature park with the enthusiasm of a squirrel on an acorn hunt. Rain or shine, I was there. But then came the day when the news forecast a blizzard. Did that stop me? Of course not! I laced up my boots, grabbed my trusty camera (a partner in all my escapades), and headed out into a winter wonderland.

The trails were a blanket of untouched snow, and the snowfall was so thick it turned the world into a giant snow globe. I was a few miles in when I decided to take a loop back, probably prompted by the tiny voice of reason that I usually keep gagged and bound in the back of my mind.

As I trudged along, I reached the top of a large gulley. It looked innocent enough, but looks, as we know, can be deceiving. The moment I stepped onto the snowy and icy slope, my feet decided they had enough of being under my control. Whoosh! Down I went, sliding all the way down the hill. It was like an impromptu sled ride, minus the sled. And in a desperate attempt to save my camera, I held it high above my head like a trophy, making the whole scene look like a bizarre ritual to the snow gods.

When the ride was over, I lay there on my back, a human snow angel (or snowman-in-progress). First things first, I checked for injuries – none, thankfully. My camera? Also unscathed. It seems luck favors the foolish – sometimes.

Getting up, I decided that was enough thrill-seeking for one day. I walked back to the park exit with the cautious steps of someone who's just learned their lesson. That day, my love for hiking had pushed me into a foolhardy blizzard adventure.

So, here's the moral of the story: love nature, enjoy hiking, but maybe, just maybe, when the news screams 'blizzard,' it's a good idea to listen. Stay safe out there and remember, a good story is only fun if you're around to tell it!

I'll talk to you later.

The Legend of Ratty and the Raccoons

It was a day like any other as I embarked on a leisurely stroll through our local nature park. The chirping of the birds and the rustling of the leaves provided a calming soundtrack to my thoughts. Just as I was lost in the serene ambiance, a soft patter of footsteps caught my attention.

To my astonishment, a group of friendly raccoons emerged from the underbrush, their curious eyes locked onto mine. It wasn't just one or two, but a whole family! They approached slowly, their bushy tails swaying with each step, displaying a mix of caution and curiosity. I couldn't help but stand still, captivated by the unexpected encounter.

But here's where the story takes a twist. While these raccoons seemed friendly, my instinctual reaction was to make a swift exit. And by swift, I mean I channeled my inner Olympic sprinter and bolted for a solid two miles! Who knew the sight of fluffy raccoons could turn a leisurely walk into a full-blown marathon training session? As I caught my breath, I chuckled at my own antics, thinking, "Well, that's one way to get some cardio in!" Lesson learned: always expect the unexpected in nature, and maybe pack some running shoes, just in case.

You may think that I made all of this up because these aren't real pictures. But no! This all really happened to me several years ago. And I really do have the pictures to prove it. But you say, "Why don't you share them here?" Well, I did. You can find the pictures of the actual encounter in my blog archives right here on The Everyday Adventurer. I made these new pictures because I wanted to illustrate the actual chase scene. I hope you like it. I'll talk to you later.

Ratty's Midnight Musings in the Mystical Forest

 

By the hootin' of the owl and the rustlin' of the leaves! During one of my moonlit wanderings through the old woods in my local nature park, I think I had the most peculiar encounter. There stood a figure, horns tall as the tales my grandpa used to spin, and eyes that glowed like two fireflies caught in a mason jar. 

Now, I'm not one to jump to conclusions, but I couldn't help but wonder if I'd come face-to-face with old Lucifer himself or maybe just Fred from down the road, playin' one of his infamous pranks.

Whatever it was, it's a gentle reminder that the woods, well, they've got their fair share of stories, mysteries, and a sprinkle of magic. So, next time you find yourself out there under a canopy of stars, keep your eyes peeled; you never know what you might find. 

You might think my posting is a little strange now that I'm back, but this is what I got for ya for now. I think it's fun. Besides, it's too cold to go out to the real forest right now. I'll talk to you later!

Chupacabra Or Me?

 

Late night in the forest and I bump into this Chupacabra... or was it just my reflection after binge-watching bad TV shows all night?

Happy Halloween!

 

I Spotted Bigfoot

 

 I was out taking pictures of my local nature and I got a Bigfoot sighting. They're everywhere nowadays.

Merry Christmas Everyone! 2019

Here's a special Christmas present from me to you. This picture is for all of you who have decided to visit me on Christmas Eve, even though I haven't posted nearly enough this year. I share this same picture for most years, but the post is a little new. I encountered this scene several years ago. I really did take the picture. It was at a place called Carpenter Lake.

Click on the picture to make it bigger for the best effect. Take a close look at Santa's reindeer. There's something very strange about them. Santa is a little different than normal too, but I'll never tell how.

Maybe Santa will think of using turkeys or bison one of these upcoming years, but he still likes the squirrels. I wonder what happened to those reindeer. Maybe these guys are for alternate days. You will probably have trouble seeing it, but the lead squirrel has a red nose.

I keep promising to post more often, and one of these days I'll surprise you. I'm still getting my hiking skills back so maybe 2020 will be my year. Until then it's time to take a little break and to say...

Merry Christmas, everyone!

Delilah And My Sister

As you can see, I have finally come back for an update. It's been quite some time, hasn't it? I think last time I said I'd be posting more often. That turned out to be a whopper of a lie, didn't it? All I can say this time is that I'll be back whenever I can. So let's get to today's post.

This one is going to be a rambling two-parter. First I'll tell you about the pictures. Then I have an amusing story about my little sister. So about the pictures.

I took Delilah back out to the nearest nature park recently. She really loves to go, but she still has a hard time getting there. She's about 8 months old now and you are finally seeing the way she looks mostly grown up. She looks like a skinny German Shepherd. She's the same size as any normal German Shepherd but she is skinny looking compared to a full-bred dog of that kind.

That was a short update, so let's get to the story about my sister. She has a full-blooded German Shepherd and it's a huge one. My sister goes on Facebook, and everywhere else, constantly bragging about how big her dog, much bigger than all other dogs. She's one of those kind of people that has to have the biggest and best of everything, especially compared to yours.

So I decided to tweak her nose a bit about it. She, like you, has also only seen my dog in a few pictures. So I went on Facebook and began bragging about how it is actually my dog that is the biggest.

I didn't tell her this information specifically, but it got the desired results. Her whole family got angry at me for daring to say that my dog was the biggest. Maybe a little childish? Maybe I'm being childish as well, but I'm also having fun. And since I got the desired reaction I decided to add a little more to my puppy's story.

I went back on Facebook and posted that I got one of those doggy DNA tests to find out why my dog is just so huge, much bigger than all other German Shepherds. I said the results came back that the reason is that my dog is part German Shepherd and part Dire Wolf. Of course, Dire Wolves are long ago extinct.

My sister immediately got on my posts feed to inform me of that pesky extinction problem. She usually ignores me. She informed me that her oldest son told her about that knowledgable super-fact. Then she proceeded to comment on this same post about a dozen times with all of her knowledge on the subject and how superior she was for informing me of my lowly error.

That is the most she has spoken to me in the past year. She had no idea I did it all just to get her going and I was laughing at her the whole time. It's still pretty funny. I'm not sure if she has caught on to the joke yet. I do think she did finally begin to feel foolish towards her last comment or two. Next, I'll Photoshop a picture of me standing in front of my giant dog.

Just to finish today's post off, I want to say my sister and I get along just fine. I just thought it would be amusing to exploit this little vanity(insecurity) she has. And I had to tell a few people some of the kinds of things I do to make a person angry with me. And with that, hopefull sooner this time, I'll talk to you later.

Merry Christmas 2018

Here's a special Christmas present from me to you. This picture is for all of you who have decided to visit me on Christmas Eve. I share this same picture on most years, but the post is new. I encountered this scene several years ago. I really did take the picture. It was at a place called Carpenter Lake.

Click on the picture to make it bigger for the best effect. Take a close look at Santa's reindeer. There's something very strange about them. Santa is a little different than normal too, but I'll never tell how.

Maybe Santa will think of using turkeys or bison one of these upcoming years, but he still likes the squirrels. I wonder what happened to those reindeer. Maybe these guys are for alternate days. You will probably have trouble seeing it, but the lead squirrel has a red nose.

Merry Christmas, everyone!

Spy Horse

I went out on an adventure this week with the hopes of changing the whole internet with the sheer force of the spectacular pictures I was going to get. It was a few miles down the road that a tragically unfortunate event happened.

That's right. I got a flat tire. Now, you might think that's just a temporary setback. It's not at all the tragedy that I'm describing. You might think. But to my dramatic brain, it's practically the end of the world. My adventure of all adventures was over!

But then something happened. As I got out of the truck to examine the damage of my ravaged tire, I smelled something horribly bad. Yup, it was the pig farm where I had stopped to fix the tire. But that's not really what happened. I was expecting the horrible smell. It was something else. There were eyes on me!

As I looked up, there across the road was a lone horse staring right at me. It was examining me very closely as if it was gathering information to take back to all the other horses so they could laugh at me, or maybe even to its evil master. It was going to reveal my tire changing secrets to the world. Noooo!

I wasn't going to put up with this intrusive examination from this all too obvious spy horse. So I whipped out my camera in dramatic fashion, and I began taking pictures of this way too interested creature.

Of course, the examiner didn't like being the examined, so it decided to make itself scarce. It quit staring and turned around to make a speedy escape.

I haven't been taking enough nature pictures recently to be able to keep up well with all of this fast movement, so the pictures didn't exactly turn out quite like I wanted. I had lots of chances for great pictures, but my lack of practice blew pretty much all of them.

After this little incident, it took me some time to fix my tire. My all-time greatest adventure was over before it really began, but I did get some pictures of this one lone horse.

As I drove a short way down the road, I found this evil spy horse conversing with another. I just know they were laughing at me because of my recent unfortunate situation. In my humiliation, I took no more pictures. I just slunk on down the road toward the bigger town 20 miles away so I could forget this tragic event ever happened while eating a bunch of tacos. I'll talk to you later.

The Return Of An Old Nemesis

I was wandering around minding my own business. I wasn't anticipating taking any pictures at all. That may be why you are wondering exactly what it is that you're looking at.

At the bottom of that tree, you might see a little speck of color. That is my subject of the day. I only had my phone camera with me so I couldn't zoom in enough to get a proper picture.

I wish I could have shown this little rascal to you a bit better, but I do still have something for you. Would you like to know now what the heck I'm talking about?

It's the return of my old nemesis, Flynn, the squirrel adventurer. Just look at him standing there laughing at me. He's been tormenting me for years. This little scoundrel followed me all the way from Michigan to harass and taunt me once again.

He's the only one to ever get a picture of me and put it on this blog. He's been making fun of me for nine long years because I put on this rat suit as a joke and the zipper got stuck. I've been unable to get out of it ever since. I gotta to tell ya, the smell in here is ungodly.

If you are at all curious as to my insane rantings, and you want to read the whole story of my adventures with Flynn, then do a search on this blog for "Flynn". You'll see the whole horrible truth.

I'll talk to you later.

Henry's Horrible Hallucination

I'm having a little trouble hunting for new material right now so I decided to bring back some strange fun from the past. You might like reading this or you might just think I'm strange. This will be new to most of you, but a long time reader will remember this one. I hope you like it either way. And besides...

A Little Fiction Won't Hurt You

Hello, my name is Henry. I have a story to tell you about something that just happened to me. It might seem strange, but I think I've been hallucinating. I mean, it must all be a hallucination, right? It has to be!!!

It all started when I was reading a story on the internet. It was about some idiot who started a war with a bunch of squirrels. The story was kind of stupid but I liked it anyway, so I decided to look through the site. As I started reading I saw that there were some very good ideas on how being out in the middle of nature can relieve some of the stress from our everyday lives, so I decided I might try it for myself.

After one particular tiring day at work, I was driving home through a wooded area. I saw a sign for a nature preserve, and I decided to stop and go in. I noticed it was just like the website said, there was a small dirt trail leading into the woods, and a sign with some park rules. I was still kind of stressed out, and I didn't need no stinking rules, so I walked right in without reading them.

I have to tell you, after walking for a little ways in the woods, my stress began to melt away. The air smelled so fresh. And there were all sorts of beautiful plants, little animals like squirrels and a few other cute little things. I didn't start any wars though, I was too relaxed now. As a matter of fact, I was feeling so relaxed that I decided to take a little siesta beside a tree that I saw several feet off the trail. Just a short nap, no big thing.

I must have been asleep longer than I thought, because when I woke up it was beginning to get dark. I figured I'd better get up and head on home. I really felt much better now than when I got here. I was going to remember to come back here as often as I could. As I got to my feet, I heard the sound of a man clearing his throat.

I turned toward the sound and saw a man standing there in a white suit. Everything about this guy seemed to sparkle. His suit was the cleanest I've ever seen, complete with a very odd looking blood red tie. That tie really stood out for some reason. He was a tall slim man with slicked back black hair and a little thin mustache, and he was looking right at me. If you're not already thinking it, I'll say it. This was really strange out here in the forest!

Since he was staring so intensely at me, I decided to ask him, "Uhmm, is there something you want?"

"Well of course there's something I want," he said. "I want you! I mean, I want to talk to you. I have a deal for you, and I don't think you can refuse this one." I began to put two and two together, and I remembered reading stories like this before. I didn't think he had any deal that I'd really like. This kind of deal never worked out very well for guys like me, and I told him so.

He kind of laughed and said, "That's all in the past! In these modern times I let you think it out before we finalize the deal. In the past it was just my inexperience that led to a few bad endings to a few little agreements."

"What happened with those past agreements? I don't want something bad to happen to me. Not that I'm agreeing to anything, I just want to know," I said suspiciously.

He said, "Well, there was the time a man asked for one billion dollars and..."

"Wait a minute," I said. "A billion dollars! So you really are..."

"That's right! The one and only... But let me finish," he said. "I gave him the money, all in pennies, and I kind of accidentally dropped it on him all at once. That was too bad for him," he chuckled. "We'll make sure that won't happen with you though. You're much smarter than him. And besides, I'll protect you for this one because I'm trying to repair my bad reputation. It's just not good for business to keep letting my marks die on me."

I didn't like the way this was going, so I asked him how he would guarantee that I wouldn't die. I figured that if I played along, he'd let me leave soon. He said, "Well, I'll make sure you don't ask for anything quite so outrageous as a billion dollars. It's always the greed that does 'em in, so try to ask for something that might help others. You know, like having a superpower or something. You could be some sort of superhero, and I guarantee you won't die."

Actually, I thought, this was getting interesting now. A superpower sounded kind of cool. I know, I could be Superman! Wait, no, that was getting greedy and he said not to be greedy. I'll only pick one superpower, but which one?

"I want to fly! I mean, I want the power of flight," I told him.

"A wonderful choice," he exclaimed. "You will have the power of flight. It will last your whole lifetime, and I guarantee that no physical harm will come to you as a direct result. Your wish is granted. The deal is done!" As soon as the last words were out of his mouth he disappeared in a puff of smoke.

I was kind of scared, but it was too late, the deal was done. I decided that maybe I should try out my new special power. I jumped into the air, and nothing happened. Just kidding! I flew! I was now soaring freely in the air! I was really flying! I did it! I was the first one to get the better of him in a deal!

Because this was so great, I decided to fly around for the rest of the day. I eventually tired myself out, so I decided to find another nice place to rest, somewhere nearby. I looked down and saw a piece of land in the middle of a small lake. That looked like as good a place as any to take a nap after my first day as the newest superhero.

I woke up to the sound of footsteps coming towards me. I thought it was him again coming to try and change the deal since I had beaten him so badly. But when I turned to look I saw a completely different sight. It was some big idiot wearing a hat of fake mouse ears and a toy eye patch. He was running towards me with a camera in his hand!

He lifted the camera in my direction and took a picture. I angrily looked at him with my head cocked to the side and yelled, "HONK!!!"

A Tall Tale Or Just A Whopping Lie?

I just have to come right out and say it. I lied. I'm a terrible liar. I lied in my last post. I never went on a pokemon hunt at all. In fact, I've never played the game. I've never even seen it. I have a wonderful phone, but my operating system just isn't one of the popular ones that can get this game. So I lied to make myself look cool.

I have another confession that you just won't believe. Wait for it. It's a shocker. I never even broke my leg. See, I knew you'd think it was unbelievable. Now that I've confessed you'll never believe again that a broken leg can heal after two weeks. What will the world do with that information?

So how can you ever trust my word again? Well, the simple answer is that you can't. I lie all the time. I can't say that I don't enjoy it, because I do. But I also tell the honest truth much of the time. So you can never know which is which, what's a lie and what's the truth. Does that make me like a devil? Or just a guy who enjoys wearing a rat suit far too much?

I've said before that my love of this rat suit has long passed. I would have taken it off long ago, but the zipper seems to be stuck and every time I try to ask someone to help me get it they run away screaming for some reason.

I never really thought that wandering around through the forest in a rat suit would be seen as strange, or even demented. But after some of the reactions I get, maybe I miscalculated just a bit. I still get some good pictures sometimes though, don't you think?

(I'll still swear today that a talking squirrel named Flynn took the picture above.)

If you see this guy coming at you in the forest, run for your life. The last thing you'll hear is a high pitched little voice saying, "Hold still, I'm gonna make you famous."

But this is where I have beaten him. I moved far away. Far away from crazy little adventurer squirrels armed with their own cameras. In fact, I haven't seen a squirrel in months. But now because of my cowardice even the birds are ashamed to look at the guy in the Ratty old rat suit. So I have to catch them off guard to get any good pictures.

I'll say this. Even though I saw so many squirrels in the past that they began speaking to me, none of these robins have uttered a word. So far anyway. Their mocking body language is enough for them I guess. They think they're smarter than me, but I have the last laugh. It's them you see in the pictures, not me. Except for that one picture up there I guess.

So after all of that, even though it was all the truth, and I confessed to being one of the biggest liars of all time, do you believe my story? I swear it's all true. It all happened. Except that pokemon hunt of course. Oh, and that broken leg. And maybe a few other details. But it's the truth. Really it is. And I have the pictures to prove it.

Maybe in my next post, if I'm on the right medication, I'll get back to my normal serious posts. But maybe this is normal. If you check out a few of my old posts you'll see that maybe I was always like this. Don't be afraid. I'll talk to you later.

A Monster Of A Tale

It's been a little while since my last post. So, what happened? Well, I went on a little pokemon hunt and ran into a few little problems. First I wasn't paying attention to where I was going and walked off the side of a cliff. Broke my leg on that one. Then I accidentally walked into a raging river and got washed two states away. After some walking I accidentally crossed into Canada and got arrested by the border patrol. Finally, after straightening that out, on my way back here I was driving down the street playing this stupid game and I drove right into the back of a police car. All of this cost me half my fortune and took me two weeks to finally get back home.

So now I'm finally back. My broken leg heeled fast and I'm raring to go. Now I'd just like to forget about that moronic little adventure. Geocaching is much more fun than that game anyway.

But remembering what I was saying at the end of my last post. How could I top walking with bison? maybe an elephant? No. How about swimming with a whale? Unfortunately swimming just isn't for me. I had to think of something incredible. So I decided to look for an animal that hasn't been around for millions of years. This Stegosaurus is just the perfect thing.

Let me tell you, this giant dinosaur was much more dangerous than a few bison. I got just as close to this beast, but I really had to stealthily sneak up on it. I couldn't believe my luck when I saw it just standing there in this grass. Who wouldn't want the first genuine pictures of a real dinosaur in millions of years?

I parked my truck far enough away that this monster wouldn't notice. Then I crept up on him, but I did it fast, and I was able to get close enough to reach out and touch him. I have to say that these creatures must be kind of blind because he never really seemed to realize at all that I was there. He didn't react to me at all. He never moved a muscle.

I thought about trying to ride him, but the thought of those plates sticking into my backside wasn't very appealing. So needless to say I decided to just take my pictures then leave this poor lonely creature in peace.

Later I met some guy not too far away that told me this stupid lie that this wasn't a real dinosaur at all, it was only a statue. I told him I knew he was lying just to keep it to himself, but he stuck to his story no matter how much I objected. What a jerk!

So that's my story. I think my next post will come a little sooner than this one took. I'm not sure if I can top getting pictures of a dinosaur, but we'll have to see just what happens. Hey, anything can happen here. I'll talk to you later.

Happy Halloween!

My last Halloween post features this creepy graveyard. It looks kinda creepy, doesn't it? Well, maybe not. But it was still fun to look at while I was there. I keep wondering if that's a real cow skull in the front of the picture. It's very possible since there are so many cows around here. A graveyard with real skulls.

Halloween is almost here. Do kids still Trick or Treat where you live? Wherever I go they don't seem to do it as much as they did when I was a kid. We seem to be losing one of the best times of the year. I hope I'm wrong about that. Anyway, I wish you all a Happy Halloween!

Talk to you later.

The Waiting Is The Hardest Part

These two have obviously been waiting here for a long time. I don't know why, but when the one on the left saw me she jumped up and ran towards me. I didn't want a skeleton chasing me so I jumped in my truck and hightailed it out of there. I wish I would have taken some pictures of that!

I took all of the Halloween pictures from the last several posts at Ponca State Park in Nebraska. I didn't reveal that little bit of information before because I didn't think it was needed, but they deserve some credit for putting up their cool Halloween display. I have one more post of these to go.

Talk to you later.

A Scary Guillotine

I'm not really sure what to say about this one. I don't have anything humorous to say. It's just a good Halloween scene to scare you when you see it at night. A guillotine with a couple of victims. I wondered where the heads might be, but I guess they're lying there in the bucket.

I look at the guillotine in the picture now and think of how long it must have taken to build it. There used to be a machine where I used to work that looked very similar. It even had an up and down moving part like that blade. So I know with a few small modifications that this prop guillotine could actually work. Interesting.

I'll talk to you later.

Swinging In The Breeze

I think I have a theme for the week. I don't know what these people did to get hanged, but I'm glad I wasn't one of them. For all of you who live outside of America, they do this kind of thing all the time here. It's fun for everyone, except for those who are on the end of the ropes.

It's getting close to Halloween so I'll be torturing you with scenes like this one at least a few more times. There are some good ones and some bad ones. I'll let you decide which is which. I liked them all. I decided to keep these posts short so I'll talk to you later.

Motorcycle Parking

I came across this guy as I was driving around looking for something to photograph. I asked him if he needed any help, but he didn't answer me, so I figured he was fine. I wanted to tell him that there was a no parking sign there, but I saw that he was kind of busy.

He sure must have liked it there because he didn't move the whole time I was there. I see bales of hay like that all over the place around here, but I never knew they were good to rest in like that. I finally figured he didn't want to talk to me so I moved on about my business. It was a pretty good day.

I'll talk to you later.

Um, Snow Monkeys

I'm back! Did you miss me? ...Wait a minute! Didn't I say that last week? Why, yes I did! But this time you might have actually noticed my absence. So what happened this time? It was the computer again! This is why I had such trouble figuring out the problem before. The computer kept crashing and the monitor wasn't working right.

When the monitor finally went all the way I hoped the problem was solved, but I still had my doubts. I never believed the monitor could cause the crashing, but I also never thought the monitor was the problem until it died on me. It turned out to be two problems at the same time that seemed like the same one.

I also don't have most of my other computer equipment with me so I was very hesitant to mess with anything, so I was hoping I could keep the computer limping along until I could get my stuff here. But unfortunately the computer finally quit cooperating at all. It began crashing every time I tried to use it, so I had no choice but to reinstall the whole operating system. And it worked! The computer finally seems okay, so now I can show you a snow monkey! Get ready...

And here he is, in chair number 2, your dream gorilla! Not bad for a snow monkey, right? Don't ask what's in chair number 1 or 3. You really don't want to know! This guy here was really the most presentable of the three. You'd get night terrors if you were to see even one of the other two. I'm not so sure how you'll fare with this snowy dude in the dark parts of your memory.

Just think how I feel. I had to see those three weirdos sitting on stools in the middle of my street when I went out the door. They were really the ones Isabella was chasing. You should have heard the howl that came out of her when she saw this guy!

If that wasn't enough, the neighborhood children all came down to hoot and holler at the big strange looking snow monkey. I swear, after all of this I need a vacation! There's nothing better than all inclusive holidays at a time like this! You'd do well to follow me there while you're at it. All of those kids laughing at the silly monkey will drive you to it.

Eephus there in the middle is the handsome devil of the bunch. And Simon is the merry mischief maker. They always have something to say when there's a bit of strangeness in town. Those little rascals!

For some odd reason Isabella will have nothing to do with them. I always thought she liked children, but she always runs and hides whenever this bunch of bananas comes around. I usually find her a bit later whimpering under my bed. Strange.

Maybe Isabella needs a vacation too. I guess everyone needs to get away from that many rambunctious kids every once in a while. I guess it would help if their parents wouldn't send them down here ready for dinner with their knives and forks. I don't understand what they think I'll feed them.

I'll be back tomorrow with... something.


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