The Depraved Ducks

I'm going to tell you a little story about some mallard ducks I saw. You'll see by the pictures that this is a true story. Or at least crazy imaginative speculation by an Everyday Adventurer who likes to pretend he's a rat. When it's all over I guess it's up to you to decide what's real and what's just nonsense from the mind of a quiet explorer.

You see, when I got to the lake I noticed that, unlike the summer months, most of the ducks that were swimming here were males. You can tell the males by their brighter gray bodies and their dark green heads. Female mallards are pretty much all shades of brown. That's the female in front of the three males in the back.

As you can see, the female is swimming past the three males. She seems to be moving past at a nice pace, unlike the males who are just lazily floating there in one spot. One of those guys is obviously showing off, by flipping his wings back a little, to anyone willing to watch. That's when this pretty little female came into view.

As soon as those two on the left saw her they quickly lifted their heads up and took notice! The one in the back suddenly appears to be much bigger than he was before. He also has his mouth hanging open. I don't know what happened here, but that poor little girl duck seemed to suddenly become so frightened that she took off like a shot.

One of those two jerks must have said something very rude to her. The third male, the one on the right, seemed oblivious to the whole thing. He was obviously not with those other two, who were clearly up to no good. As those two villains watched, the little female duck sped past as if her tail was on fire!

Of course, once the two bad guys saw that the sweet little female duck was too fast for them, they clearly lost interest. The big one in the back turned to see to other matters as if he had done nothing wrong at all. The guy in front still stared at the retreating female, probably snickering to himself. And just like that, it was all over.

This all reminded me of the old stereotype of the group of lazy construction workers who liked to stand at the edge of the sidewalk while eating their lunch, yelling insults and catcalls, and generally harassing every female that passed by. After seeing this scene I began to wonder if other animals do things like this too. What do you think? Do jerk ducks like this exist?

(Some of you may have noticed that I haven't been very active in the comments section here or at your blog. I've just been recharging my batteries a bit so I can come back with more energy and enthusiasm. I'll be back to making obnoxious comments all over the internet very soon.)